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Friday, 30 November 2012

My kingdom for a car (and a sense of direction)

I'm supposed  to be getting work done today. With less than 2 hours left in the day, I'm still reminding myself of that. And surprisingly, I have gotten quite a bit done today. Today was a good day, and thank goodness, because the previous two were rough. My husband must have been wondering if I was finally having PMS, pre-menopausal, pregnant or all three. (Answer: none of the above) I was just really stressed, funny I know cause I'm not working right? And it might actually have been easier if I was working, I'd be out of the house at least. It's not easy not having a vehicle. Not that it matters cause I don't know my way around anyway. I have driven myself to church and the pharmacy. No big thing, just drive out to the main road and keep going till there you are.

So like I was saying, I started to have a breakdown (no, I was not nervous) day before yesterday. During which I managed to say that job or not I felt stressed and needed space. I have almost used up all my sociableness (I know, not a word), because as friendly as I am, I'm kind of a loner, albeit one who doesn't want to be alone. I'm okay with knowing someone is there, but I don't need to be in the same space or interacting. Which I guess is interpreted as me sleeping a lot (we're living with my in-laws till we settle and I get a job). The upside is I got an early Christmas present (yeah, like I don't recognise that the shiny thing being dangled is just to cheer me up, but I'll take it).I probably wouldn't have spent that much on myself. Well, not on just one item. Yeah hubby!


As I may have mentioned, I really want to work, but somewhere that I want to work. Not just anywhere. Which I realize is something  people  don't get. Once there are sick people, you can just get to doctoring, right? Wrong. But right now, I'll take anywhere that will give me a paycheck. My husband, bless his heart, did get me a card for his account, and in his mind it's ours. But I like to feel like I'm contributing. It makes for guilt-free shopping. And guess what? I finally got paid (for a one month job a little while back)!!! I just a need a permanent gig so we can rent somewhere near to work (and some shops).

Now if I can just get to some shops by myself...


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Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Break's over



Let me just say right off the bat, I love my in-laws. I’m one of those persons whose complaints probably sound like jokes to other people. And I know this. But it’s that or nothing. There’s a learning curve to living in someone else’s home, and adjustments have to take place. Most of these on my part because it is hard to go from renting to my own house, just me and my husband, to sharing a smaller home with five other people (including the most amazing fuss-free baby ever, seriously!). But it helps that any idea I come up with to make our (yes ‘our’) space work better, my mother-in-law thinks is the best idea since sliced bread. And my father-in-law emptied out a whole room to create a study for me, furnished it (including a couch I’m trying to figure out how to move with when we get our own place, but I know I can just ask) and surprised me with it when I came to visit. Yes folks, before I even moved here. So please remember this if anything pops up in the future that might sound like a complaint. I have it good and I know it. I just sometimes in spite of my cheery disposition, like to complain. It helps me to fit in.

 Old pic of my desk back home.
 
So to get to the point, I tidied out my study today and I'm back in business. As soon as I finish watching some stuff on youtube.

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Saturday, 17 November 2012

Coffee

For the past two days, instead of taking advantage of my time off from classes to get a jump start on my final project, I did everything else. I cooked, I did laundry, I even tidied our room. Today I started looking at this blog meek-n-mild and kept going back. It's my new obsession. As if I wasn't talented enough at finding things to do to procrastinate: reading, cleaning (which I hate), watching tv (The View, The Chat, The anything actually and Ellen) and generally sitting around doing nothing and wasting time.

I haven't found a good coffee place yet, which means, I am learning to make amazingly good instant coffee (the only coffee lover in my in-laws house, and I left my coffee maker behind in the move). Another thing I miss about home (yes I know, unrelated), but maayybe if I found a coffee house, I'd go there and maybe do some work. Not buying it? Me either, I have lots of space here to sprawl out and study. I'm just a bum, who loves coffee.


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Thursday, 15 November 2012

Words I never though I'd say


I never thought I'd say this, but not working is not that great. I like working for lots of reasons
  1. I feel like a contributing member of society
  2. I like the feeling I get when I can see that I genuinely helped someone feel better
  3. It means seven years of medical studies aren't going to waste
  4. It means I get paid.
Don't get me wrong, I know my husband will provide for us until I start working again. But having my own money is different. It means guilt free shopping. Which isn't the same and for me isn’t even possible when at someone else’s expense.
I passed a store today with some beautiful bags. I don't need one, but normally the possibility of buying one would have existed. And that's whats killing me. More than not being freely mobile just yet, the fact that even if I do go out, it's just not the same.

I can't wait to get back to work.



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Tuesday, 6 November 2012

I quit. But for this?

So a few months back my husband returned to his home, and I stayed behind in mine, formerly ours, making preparations to follow him as soon as possible. I came here to visit him in the interim, did an interview, was offered a job and resigned from my old and beloved job. And then nothing. Followed by more nothing. As my time and my meagre savings idled away, I danced between resentment at having left a job I loved, warts and all, and taking advantage of my time off. Mostly the latter.

But all things, good or otherwise must come to an end, and with news of movement on the job front, I began to step up my efforts to downsize and pack. After illness and further delays, I was collected by my husband (romantic right? only lessened by a cough, the sniffles and aches in places I didn't know could hurt).

And so here I was, ready to work, in what would almost be my dream job. Which I did, until we all realized that wasn't going to work very well for me, my husband, our marriage or my studies. So here I am, again in the great unemployed. Trying to make the best of our odd situation. Did I mention we don’t have our own place yet? No? We don’t. So right now, I study. Or so I tell myself. And another job is in the offing, and I am with my husband, no plane ticket needed. So as I am reminded by my sisters, I must focus on the positive (which I am) and try to make the best of it (not always possible, what with horrible banking service, lack of privacy, dodgy cell phone service). But things will get better and yes, I am grateful for what I have, including an amazing husband, my sisters to whine to, my mother to set me straight, my in-laws (and bedroom doors that lock). And of course my kindle. 



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Thursday, 1 November 2012

Displaced

 

One of the worst things in my opinion is moving away from family and friends. I have to adjust to moving and without my usual support system. It was fine when I was a teenager. I spent half of my adult life living away from home, dying to be home, but making it work ( at times under adverse conditions), then enjoying the comforts of home (but no hearth, and come to think of it, shouldn't there have been something like that for my husband to carry me over?).

And now after years of saying a woman should not give up herself to please a man, I have willingly (that would be my friends cackling I'm hearing in my head as they envisions vacations in another tropical paradise) traipsed behind my husband on his return home. And so here I am again in another home, another country. This time with no home of my own and feeling more displaced than ever. And unemployed to boot.

Eventually I'll settle in and get used to life a a slower pace, something I never thought possible. In the meantime, I guess I"ll just vent and then look back and laugh at myself. All while enjoy the perks of being a stay-at-home wife. If only there could be more shopping involved...



Una de las peores cosas en mi opinión se está alejando de la familia y los amigos. Tengo que ajustar a moverse y sin mi habitual sistema de apoyo. Estaba bien cuando era un adolescente. Me he pasado la mitad de mi vida adulta viviendo lejos de casa, morir al estar en casa, pero sobreviviendo ( a veces en condiciones adversas), a continuación, disfrutando de las comodidades del hogar (pero sin corazón, y ahora que lo pienso, no deberia hecho algo como que para que mi marido me lleve al entrar en la casa mattrimonial? ).

Y ahora, tras años de decir una mujer no debe renunciar a ella solo para complacer a un hombre, he voluntariamente (esa sería mi amigos cacareo estoy escuchando en mi cabeza, mientras ellas contemplan las vacaciones en otro paraíso tropical) seguido detrás de mi marido al volver a su casa. Así que aquí estoy de nuevo en otra casa, otro país. Esta vez sin casa propio y sentiendo más desplazados que nunca. Y encima de todo, estoy desempleada.

Al final voy a asentarme y acostumbrarme a la vida a un ritmo más lento, algo que nunca pensó posible. Mientras tanto, supongo que por el momento descargo y, a continuación, mirar hacia atrás a ríer de mí mismo. Todo ello mientras disfruto de los beneficios de ser un ama de casa. Si sólo se podría haber más de compras...


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